1977
by Sapphire1616
Summary: A lot can happen in one year. This is the story of Lily Evans and James Potter as told from January 1st, 1977 to December 31st, 1977.
1. January

**Disclaimer: I only own the idea, J.K. Rowling owns the rest**

* * *

1977

By Sapphire1616

* * *

January

"Happy New Year," Lily whispered to herself as she glanced up at the clock. She shivered and wrapped her cloak tighter around herself. The dungeons had to be at least ten degrees cooler than the rest of the castle, the chill seeping deep into her bones. The faint drips of water onto the stone tiles echoed throughout the dimly lit dungeon, the only other sound in the room.

Deciding it was time for a break, Lily sat up and stretched her arms up. Her back ached from bending over the cauldrons for so long. Detentions weren't supposed to last this long, were they? She could at least be comforted by the fact that it was nearly over. Griffiths promised to relieve her at midnight, not that her word was much to go by.

Lily took a moment to stare at the door, sighing once before returning to work. She might as well get as much cleaning done as she could here. Not to impress Griffiths—she would criticize her no matter what she did—but for Professor Slughorn. They'd make use of these clean cauldrons next Potions class.

A sudden bang broke through her thoughts as the door to the dungeon burst open.

"Potter?" asked Lily, squinting as her eyes struggled to make out the figure before her in candle light.

"Not late, am I?" he asked brightly, shutting the door behind him.

"Griffiths will be back any minute now," Lily scolded him, glancing furtively at the door.

"Just in time then." He walked casually over to where she sat and picked up a cauldron to scrub, ready to pretend that he had been there beside her for the past three hours.

"I didn't think you'd come back at all," muttered Lily bitterly. "What on earth were you doing out for so long?"

"Come on, Evans. It's New Years Eve. I had parties to attend to."

"You also had detention."

"I knew you'd cover for me," he replied confidently. She scowled. "And if you do decide to report me, there's no way Griffiths will believe a word you say," he added. "She abhors you."

Lily sighed. There wasn't much she could say to refute his argument. Griffiths would believe him over her simply out of spite, even if she met him in the hall on the way to the dungeon. "It's cruel and unusual punishment."

"Oh, don't look so disappointed, Evans. I'm sure Slughorn's inappropriate love for you more than makes up for it." Lily sent him a scorching glare.

"Shut up, Potter!" she raised her voice, just as Professor Griffiths walked through the door.

"Having too much fun, Miss Evans?" she asked. "I can always come back later if you'd like to continue working."

Lily stood up immediately. "No, I'm sorry, Professor," she said, lowering her head so she couldn't see the look of absolute loathing she wanted to give her. James snickered behind her, but, of course, Griffiths didn't acknowledge him at all.

"Well then, the two of you are free to go. I hope you've learned your lesson."

"Thank you, professor," Lily replied submissively once more before ducking out of the room. Normally she would've spit out a retort back at her, but that's what had gotten her into this mess in the first place, and she was just too tired right now to push the issue further. All she wanted to do was sleep.

"You know, it's not too late to join me for the rest of the party," James's voice spoke up from behind her as he jogged to catch up to her quick pace.

"And why would I want to waste my time doing that?" Lily asked tonelessly.

"Oh, lighten up, Evans! It's a new year," he declared theatrically. "We'll be 7th years soon. We've gotta make the most of the time we have left."

"How cliché," Lily responded, still in a bad mood from the detention. James's ever present optimism was starting to wear on her.

James shrugged. "Suit yourself," and with that he jogged off back to the Gryffindor common room. Not ready to wade through the high spirits with him, Lily turned down a different corridor. She would prefer to sit on the window ledge of the Astronomy Tower, but tonight there would inevitably be some sort of couple occupying the space. Instead, she opted for the dungeons. It was about the loneliest place in the school. Exactly what Lily wanted.

She trailed her finger along the slimy stone wall, the icy cold burning her fingertips. She felt restless, desperate to feel something other than the ever-present fear that she wasn't doing enough. There was a war going on after all. She may have dropped out of her muggle schooling, but not soon enough to avoid learning about World War II. This time she was one of the Jews.

Typically, New Years was a time for resolutions frantically made with the burning desire for change. Lily was far too comfortable wallowing in her sadness to come up with any resolutions right now. Normally it was her type of thing. But she just couldn't help feeling a bit sorry for herself.

Of course it wasn't her fault for being born the way she was. Of course she had no control over how others would treat her because of it. And yet sometimes the thought crossed her mind that perhaps she had been a terrible person in a past life to deserve this one.

It had been nearly a year since Severus had left her life for good. Ideally this should've strengthened her friendships with Margaret and Jessie and others, but they couldn't understand why she'd even feel sad about it or regret it in the slightest.

Lost in her thoughts, as she had been prone to do these days, Lily was surprised to see the Slytherin Common Room at the end of the hall in front of her. The emerald banner seemed to glisten in the torchlight.

Lily was flirting with danger. Once upon a time ugly sneers may have been all she'd receive for hanging around the entrance, waiting for Severus. Now she was sure to face some sort of consequence. Maybe it was the damp air numbing her to the fear, but Lily could not summon the energy to change her course. She just so desperately wanted to feel like she was _doing_ something, anything.

She got her wish for danger a moment later when the dungeon door ground open. A rush of adrenalin coursed through her veins and she managed to jump behind a pillar just in time.

Lily's heart raced, thudding heavily against her rib cage. She felt a smile grace her lips. This is what it felt like to be alive.

She was disappointed, then, when none other than Whitney Travers, a harmless fifth year in Lily's Arithmancy class. She was always fairly friendly to Lily, if a bit snooty. In another life, she may have been a Ravenclaw. Either way she wouldn't care what Lily was doing wandering around the dungeons.

None of that was as interesting as the figure who ducked their head out the door behind Whitney, however. All Lily could see was his black buzzed hair from this angle, but she would recognize that Gryffindor maroon tie anywhere. And as he straightened to his full height, Lily caught a glimpse of the distinctive scar across his dark chin, the one that identified him to the majority of the school, or at least of Gryffindor house. _Jeffrey Rodgers_.

Whether they were dating or just friends, Lily still felt the burn of resentment that she was not allowed to keep Severus. She knew that not everyone in Slytherin was bad. Severus just happened to fall in with that crowd. No, Lily reminded herself sharply, he chose them.

Jeffrey started walking towards her, ready to start down the corridor she hid in on his way back to Gryffindor Tower. Lily quickly sprinted to the first door to her left which was, luckily, unlocked, and flung it open.

"Lily?" Jeffrey asked hesitantly. "Is that… you?" Lily winced, mentally berating herself for not having quicker reflexes.

She slowly turned, facing him almost apologetically.

"What are you doing down here?" Though he had every right to be suspicious of her down in the dungeons at this late hour, she resented his judgmental tone.

"I could ask you the same thing," she retorted.

"Sirius sent me down on a dare." She had to admit, he had a reasonable excuse. If she hadn't just seen Whitney let him out of the Slytherin common room she would've believed him.

"And Whitney?"

He sighed. "That was the dare. Now what are you doing down here?" Lily had been hoping he'd forget.

"I only just got out of detention, that's all."

"So the potion's room jumped down a floor?"

"I just had to return some supplies to the cupboard on this floor. They were out upstairs." Lily was pretty sure Jeffery believed her just as much as she believed him, but there wasn't really anything they could do about it now.

"I'll walk you back up to the common room," he offered, and Lily accepted, relieved that this awkward confrontation was over.

"So what was the detention for this time?" Jeffrey questioned with a smirk. Professor Griffiths' disdain for Lily was no secret.

"She says I sassed her in class for asking a question about the homework. But on my last assignment she commented that I need to ask more clarifying questions if I ever hope to get above Acceptable." Jeffrey laughed.

Lily huffed. "It's not fair!" she exclaimed. "These days 6th year exams are almost as important as NEWTs to employers cause they show consistency. I don't see how I'm supposed to do well on them when Griffiths absolutely despised me!"

He laughed again. "Welcome to the real world, Lily. Not every teacher will be as enamored with you as Slughorn is. Actually, I'd say this evens things out a bit. Now you know how the rest of us feel."

Out of things to say for they were not very close friends despite sharing a house and year, fell into silence. They had just reached the start of the hall leading to the common room entrance when Jeffrey stopped her.

"Listen, Evans, just… Please don't spread this bet thing around. I don't think Whitney'd be too pleased to find out the truth, and I'd really appreciate not having the Slytherin house despise me anymore than they already do." Lily considered it. There really wasn't any advantage for her to say no. She didn't need to be any more invested in Slytherins either at this point. She was pretty sure the whole house hated her on principle after last year's scandal anyway.

"Sure thing, Rodgers." And they continued down the corridor in silence once again. With one final smile, Lily disappeared into the crowd the moment the tapestry opened for the night.

* * *

The next morning found the four Marauders' nursing hangovers over breakfast in the dining hall. Or rather, Lily found them like this. Despite the hoards of students missing for break, it seemed right that the four of them remained. She couldn't imagine seeing one without the other for so long.

Lily took her usual seat near them but still separate, with a good four seats between them. She remained alone. Margaret wouldn't be up for hours, and everyone else had gone home for the holidays.

"And how was the detention, Prongs? Weren't too smashed, were you?" Lily heard Sirius' voice from down the table.

"Shut up, Sirius," James groaned, his head in his hands.

"Well that answers that," Sirius replied with a grin, and Lily blocked out the rest of their mundane conversation. There were only a few more days before classes resumed on Thursday, and Lily didn't plan on spending them figuring out what the Marauders were up to. Though she knew she couldn't trust the four of them to spend a break not wrecking havoc.

Instead she turned back to her oatmeal, mentally planning her day. Professor McGonagall had warned their class before break that they would need to practice or at least study the theory if they didn't want to fall behind when they returned. Lily took this warning very seriously. While some others in the class might dismiss this as one of her usual warnings, Lily could not afford to leave anything to chance. She was already working against enormous odds. It would take not only skill, but a great stroke of luck to be hired as an Auror.

And so only ten minutes later Lily was gathering her things for the library. Though it was almost certain to be empty on a day like this, with fresh snowfall creating the perfect battlefield outside her window, Lily was in the habit of getting an early start to claim her favorite table.

"Where are you going?" a voice asked as the corresponding hand swung open the curtains beside her bed. Something about being the only two Gryffindor girls over the entirety of winter break had bonded the two. Enough, at least, for her to question Lily's whereabouts on New Year's Day.

"To study," Lily replied without looking up.

Margaret made a face, blowing a thin, curvy strand of mousy brown hair away from her mouth. "It's a new year. 1977. And you're starting it off with work."

"Never a better time to get started on those resolutions," she quipped back.

She sighed. "Come on, Lily. She fixed her large dark eyes on Lily's smaller green ones. "Take a break for a day."

Lily gave her a small and humorless smile. "Can't. I've got to start on this essay for Griffiths. You know how she is."

"What I'm more interested in is how you landed a detention on New Year's Eve of all nights. I don't think that's even allowed, especially for a first-time professor."

"Oh, but she's not a first-time professor, Margaret! She's taught at the _finest_ institutes in America. It was a step down to come back here, but she did owe Dumbledore a favor, and, being the kind-hearted soul she is, she just had to return for him," Lily ranted, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Sounds like she's bore her heart and soul to you."

"Oh, we're close friends now," Lily laughed, suddenly feeling lighter than she had in months.

"But seriously, what'd you do?"

"She thinks that I stole her grading book." Margaret's eyes went wide.

"And did you?"

"Of course not!" Lily cried. "She just pins everything on me."

"And she just gave you a detention for that in the middle of break?"

"Well, no. I've been avoiding her because of that. I skipped her last class. And she finally cornered me and searched my bag and found a note someone wrote me about what a horrible teacher she is. And then she gave me the detention for that night which just so happened to be New Year's Eve."

Margaret's eyebrows rose at the tale. "That is wild. I can't believe you took that sitting down."

"It's not like there was much I could do. The grading book thing was rubbish, but she did have proof with the note."

"But you didn't even write it! That's not fair."

Lily smiled. "And that is why I need to write her essay. If it's not flawless I have no chance of getting a passing grade on this."

"Merlin. I wouldn't want to trade places with you, girly."

"Well I'm off to the library then," Lily announced, standing up and swinging her bag over her shoulder.

"Still, you deserve a break, Lily."

"Maybe later," Lily called as she walked out the door.

The library was blissfully silent and empty. Lily spread out her papers onto the whole table, taking advantage of the space. She soon lost herself in Transfiguration laws and Potions theories.

However, her concentration didn't hold longer than a few hours before Lily was itching to walk around. She felt restless, the feeling from last night returning. As if she wasn't doing enough.

Ignoring this, Lily granted herself a break and began wandering between the shelves, looking for a particular small corner in the back. Few even knew this section existed as the Ravenclaws had their own library in their common room and therefore had no reason to rifle through the lacking fantasy and fiction area of the school library.

Lily, however, loved it. Stumbling upon it in her second year had been a blessing in disguise. She could make a study of the differences in Muggle and Magical literature, if anyone were out there who cared to read it. And if there weren't a war going on outside of Hogwarts walls.

But for now she had the privilege to block all of that out and immerse herself in magical fantasy books such as "A Year Without Magic" and "Turning Time Forward." She was so successful in blocking her surroundings out, in fact, that when she next looked up the sun looked ready to set, an orange glow settling over the library.

Lily jumped up and checked the time. It was now late afternoon. She had read straight through lunch and forgotten her studies all together. So much for staying on top of her work.

With a sigh she gathered her things, resolving to try better the next day. Or the next one. She still had another three days before Hogwarts repopulated for the start of class. Not that much would change for her.

Back in the common room the Marauders had gathered around the fireplace in their signature four seats, but Margaret was nowhere to be seen. In fact, Lily could only count two others besides than the four Marauders, and they each seemed to be involved in a very tense game of Exploding Snaps.

So, almost reluctantly, Lily resigned herself to another quiet night in, and made her way to walk up the spiral staircase. Just as her foot made contact with the first step, her name was called.

"Evans!" Her head whipped around and she caught Sirius' eye. "Come here!"

She rolled her eyes. "What do you want?"

"We need someone to settle a bet for us!"

"I'm not interested, Black," she retorted.

He stuck out his tongue at her. "You're no fun." Any other day she would've brushed this off and kept walking up the stairs, but Margaret's comment from earlier still echoed in her mind. She needed a break, not just from work but from herself.

And so she found herself stepping down from the stairs and actually walking towards the four by the fire, to three astonished faces and one smug one.

"I knew you'd come around."

"It's winter break," Lily deadpanned. "I have nothing better to do."

"Oh I'm sure." He gave her a knowing grin as if he could read her mind. "Now, down to business. We need some insight on the ethical dilemma we're facing."

"Really?" Lily asked, now intrigued. What could be so offensive as to have Sirius questioning his moral ethics.

"Well, you see, James and I were wondering if it's kosher for Peter here to snog that lovely lady from our Charms class if we dare him to. We wouldn't want a blossoming new relationship to get off on the wrong foot" Sirius explained. James smacked him on the head.

"You idiot. We wanted to ask her what the rules are for practicing on the roof."

"Remus could've told you that."

"I did tell them. Multiple times. They wanted a second opinion."

"Just a quick stroll. Nothing too serious."

"It's still not allowed, and anyway why would that bother your moral code when you essentially dared Jeffrey to do the same thing with Whitney Travers last night?" Lily asked.

Sirius gave her a funny look. "I don't know what you're talking about, Evans. I didn't even see Rodgers last night. He left right when the party was just getting started."

"Anyway," James interrupted. "I think if we just go higher up my aim will really improve. And if you get lightheaded it'll be easier to do them nonverbally."

They continued their ridiculous conversation as Lily stepped aside. Jeffrey lied to her. So what was he really doing?

This question remained in Lily's mind as she quietly ate breakfast on her own the next morning. A small flood of owls filled the ceiling and blocked the dreary January sky from view. One speckled tawny owl broke from the crowd above her and dove down. Though it was aimed towards her very deserted section of the Gryffindor table, Lily was still shocked to see it land on the table beside her and look at her expectantly with wide eyes.

She stared at him for a moment, before jolting out of her reverie and taking the small note attached to his leg in exchange for a bite of toast.

Turning back to the note in her hand she recognized the familiar messy scrawl of Hagrid. His signature left a small smile on her lips. She had almost forgotten about her closest friend left at Hogwarts. These days she was left counting down her time left as what attached her to the castle slowly ended and fell apart. But there would always be Hagrid.

 _Lily,_

 _Thought you might want to drop by before classes start getting busy again. I just collected some mint springs from Professor Sprout's garden for some mint tea if you'd like to drop by around four._

 _-Hagrid_

She quickly penned a confirmation and sent the owl off. Though she followed him with her eyes, the school owl was soon lost in the crowd as the owls once again disappeared back to the Owlery.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Lily made the trek through freezing wind and a flurry of snow that rose and fell as though she were entrapped in a snow globe. By the time she reached Hagrid's hut, her toes were numb in her winter boots and her nose was red and icy.

As she raised her hand to knock on his door, it flung open.

"Lily, m'dear!" he boomed, a wide grin on his face. "Come in! Come in!" His wide hand slapped her on her back, and she tripped forward into his hut. The snow caught in her hair was already melted by the time she settled into his kitchen chair. She pulled off the boots, shook the ice from them, and settled her frozen toes on the chair beside her to warm up by the fire.

"It sure is a rough one out there, ain't it Lily?" said Hagrid, giving the fire a quick poke before settling beside her. "So what've yeh been up ter lately?"

"Oh, nothing much. The castle gets a bit slow during breaks."

"Not for you from what I've heard. What's this 'bout a New Year's Eve detention I hear?" he prodded. Lily sighed.

"That was not my fault. You know how Professor Griffiths is." He shook his head looking apologetic.

"Yeh shouldn't have ter deal with all that. Yeh're just a student, not fair ter yeh at all," he lamented.

"They can't make it too easy for me, Hagrid," she tried to joke.

"Yeh shouldn't even be here over break, Lily. It's got ter be ages since yeh last saw your family."

Lily sighed. "Mum and dad are moving house so it's a bit chaotic down there for the time being. With Petunia out of the house now and me off at school most of the year I think the house has gotten a bit big for just the two of them." There were other reasons too, but she didn't see reason to mention them here and now.

"An' how're yeh finding Hogwarts at Christmas time then?" He smiled warmly, crinkles forming around the corners of his eyes. It was clear what his answer was. Lily just so happened to agree.

"Absolutely magical," she replied, with a wink. "Even more so than normally. I would've never imagined that I missed out on so much just by going home. Lonely though, isn't it? I've never seen the castle this empty."

"Gets even worse in the summer." He took of thoughtful sip of tea from the large mug dwarfed by his even larger hands.

"You should find a new pet to keep you company. Maybe a dog?" Instead of looking excited or at least cheered by entertaining the thought, however, Hagrid suddenly began acting suspicious.

"Yes, well, I'm just no' sure I'd have the time for all tha', yeh know? Lots o' responsibility. Dogs need lots o' looking after, 'specially when they're just puppies."

Lily narrowed her eyes. "Hagrid, you just said how lonely it gets. I know being the gamekeeper isn't that taxing of a job. What have you gotten yourself into now?"

"I don'—What are yeh—That's none of yer business!" he sputtered, growing red beneath his beard. Clearly she had struck a nerve here.

"It's nothing illegal, right Hagrid?" Of course, that had never stopped him before. His love of creatures was just a little too blind to the dangers it posed to both himself and others.

"This is not for yeh ter know," he protested, weaker this time, his resolve giving in. "I swear it, Lily. Yeh've got ter learn when ter leave things be. You're gonna get yourself into a lotta trouble one o' these days." And she couldn't help the hopeful smile growing on her face. Curiosity killed the cat indeed. But Lily could never help herself.

"Is it something for Dumbledore?" she whispered, before the excitement burst out of her, too loud to contain. "Oh I knew it! I knew you two were conspiring together! Please tell me what's going on, Hagrid. I promise not to tell anyone. There's no one to tell anyway." She hadn't meant to be that self-deprecating, especially not to make him pity her, but she could see the way his eyes softened at that last statement. She had confided in him more frequently over the past year, and the two had grown quite close.

He sighed. "I guess there's no use with yeh. Don' think I could keep 'im from yeh in a few weeks anyway."

"Keep what from me?"

"Hold on a mo'" He shuffled around his hut to find his jacket, which he then proceeded to riffle through the pockets for a few minutes. Lily waited patiently.

"Here we go." He settled back down into his seat holding a letter. He reopened it and flipped through a few pages until a photograph fluttered out onto the ground. Lily bent down to retrieve it.

"Isn' he bea'iful?" Hagrid said, just a little misty eyed. The photograph showed the image of what looked to be a baby griffin flapping its wings and flicking its tail almost more like a dog than a lion. Of all the animals she'd seen, Lily wouldn't describe the baby griffin as particularly cute. However, there was a mischievous gleam in his eye, and Lily knew he would grow up to be a rather majestic looking creature.

"What's his name?"

"They like ter call 'im Nicomedia."

"Little Nico," Lily cooed. "Don't you already have a whole herd though? What's the point of importing one all the way from… Where was it again?"

"America. And we've got a herd o' hippogriffs. Not griffins. Completely different."

"So what's the difference then?" Lily questioned. "Why not just use the hippogriffs that you've already got?"

Hagrid looked uncomfortable. "Well, see, yer not really 'sposed to know 'bout all this."

"Does Dumbledore need a griffin specifically for this project of his?" Lily tried to sneak a look at the pages of the letter that remained strewn across the table to get some more information. But Lily had pushed him too far.

"Tha's enough!" He plucked the photograph from her hand and collected the pages of the letter too quickly for her to read anything important. The only word she managed to catch a glimpse of was the expansive signature at the bottom. _Newt Scamander._

"When do I get to meet him?" Lily switched gears to try to calm him down and avoid being kicked out of his hut in the middle of a snow storm.

"He'll be delivered in a week or two. Trainin' him meself," he declared proudly.

"How big will he get in a week or two though? He doesn't look all that small for a baby."

"Oh, 'bout the size o' a hippogriff. Nothing I can' handle," Hagrid said confidently. He seemed excited for the challenge, but Lily had never heard of anyone keeping a griffin as a pet. Then again, if Dumbledore was encouraging him, it couldn't be too dangerous.

"Well I'm happy for you then," said Lily decidedly with an encouraging nod for good measure. "This is exactly the sort of thing you enjoy." He smiled so widely his eyes crinkled at the outer edges.

"Lily Evans, you are too kind. I wish more were as open minded as yeh are." And she knew he wasn't just talking about wild magical animals.

* * *

By the time the rest of the Hogwarts population returned to the school, Lily had already deeply entrenched herself between the large stacks of books in the library.

Except she wasn't really doing work. She had all of her books spread out in front of her and rolls of parchment with neat notes for her to review—it all looked rather picturesque if she did say so herself—but she could not gather the motivation to actually read a single word.

It was just a bad day all around. She had woken up that morning with that sort of a feeling, and it had only grown since the rather lonely breakfast—most of her classmates were not returning until that afternoon, and Margaret was very much a late sleeper.

Regardless, Lily had decided that just being in the presence of the library would inspire some sort of academic mindset in her. She was wrong, of course, but it was a nice thought.

After working solidly, or at least attempting to, for about an hour, Lily deemed herself worth of a study break. That, and a thought in the back of her mind kept trying to claim her attention. And so she gave in, searching for the Care of Magical Creatures section of the library, one that she had never seen reason to visit in all her five years here at Hogwarts.

But rather than having to search hard for the subjects she wanted to study, she found a wealth of information. Far too much to sort through today. Apparently Newt Scamander was something of a celebrity. One that she had never heard about before.

To be fair, she had never taken Care of Magical Creatures, and for all her interest in magic, history on its own had never managed to hold her attention for very long. This, however, was something else altogether.

" _After Clause 73 was inserted in the International Code of Wizarding Secrecy in 1750, interest in magical creatures began to decline. The threat to wizarding safety became apparent, and fear of these creatures spread. This fear of the unknown continued for throughout the 18th and 19th centuries. It was not until 1918 when the name Newt Scamander first began making waves in the Magizoology field. Shortly after, he was commissioned to begin work researching for his most famous book: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Scamander managed to make the unknown known throughout the world, eliminating many of the earlier fears of magical creatures. His work inspired many to join the field, resulting in the Ban on Experimental Breeding in 1965 due to such an increased interest in magical creatures."_

Newt Scamander had travelled the world. He had seen just about every creature, muggle and magical alike, imaginable. And the unimaginable. He seemed to be exactly the man that Hagrid would idolize. So how did he manage to get into contact with him?

Lily's first thought was Dumbledore, of course. But was this simply fan mail or something more important? Maybe—

"There you are!" Margaret exclaimed, pulling herself a seat. "Whatcha up to, girly?" She peered over Lily's notes on Arithmancy. "Ugh, gross," she announced before leaning back and rocking her chair. Lily could only be grateful she hadn't looked a little more closely and asked a few more questions. Like why she was suddenly interested in Care of Magical Creatures and researching griffins and Newt Scamander.

"So anyway, I have something that you are not going to believe!" Lily's eyebrows rose a fraction of an inch. Though, Lily had found that she could in fact often believe the stories that followed those statements.

"Is that so?" Most of the time, when Margaret would fill her in on the gossip and drama of the day she had to fight to keep her attention on the subject. Though not immune to gossip or believing that she was above it all, Lily simply could not keep track of all of the different names and of their various connections to one another. Margaret found this both astonishing and false on some level considering the limited number of students attending the school, but Lily had no reason to lie. She did have a theory that she couldn't remember faces, however, and blamed the problem on that.

"I'm serious," she protested. "This is something you'd be interested in. It's about Potter and Black." This time Lily leaned in closer. Names she recognized, in their house and year.

"What did they do this time?"

Margaret smirked. "You'll like this. So you know how they decided to welcome back the rest of the Hogwarts student population with some of Dr. Filibuster's finest?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Right in the middle of my dessert, too."

"Your obsession with treacle tart worries me." Margaret laid a hand on Lily's shoulder in careful concern. Lily shrugged it off and gave her a firm look.

"Just get on with it, then."

"Okay, okay. So, they didn't officially claim responsibility until today. I think because McGonagall suspected Davies, and you know how snippy they get when someone else gets credit. But anyway, Griffiths came storming down the hall to accost them after dinner—I think you'd already left by then—and James gave this whole rant about cruel and unusual punishment and how he would not stand for the discrimination taking place in her classroom.

"And the entire hall burst into applause, as one does after any rousing speech—Well, that section of the table at least. Okay! It was Pettigrew and some Second years," she amended at Lily's skepticism. "And Griffiths was so flustered she didn't even yell at them. She just went right to Dumbledore and told him to sort it out."

"I bet Dumbledore and Potter had a nice chat then."

"Biscuits were definitely involved, the chummy old family friends they are. Oh, but just imagine the look on Griffiths' face! She was absolutely disgraced!"

Lily giggled. "Well that settles it. Potter is my hero," she declared dramatically, hand to her heart and eyelashes fluttering.

"What was that, Evans?" Lily jumped as James rounded the bookshelf and plopped quite comfortably at their table.

"Speak of the devil," Margaret muttered, though looking delighted. She lived for drama and conflict.

"It's like you have a sixth sense for when people are talking about you," Lily remarked bitterly, returning pointedly to her notes.

"Just good hearing." He winked. "So I take it the story of my gallant proclamation in defense of students everywhere has made its way to you?"

"Strange, I heard it was Davies actually," said Lily, casually flipping a page.

James glowered. "Ha. Ha. You're witty, I'll give you that."

"You looking forward to Apparition lessons, James?" Margaret asked, when it quickly became apparent that Lily planned to ignore him.

He ran his hand through his hair so it spiked up even more wildly. "Can't be too hard, can it?"

"I don't know. Feels pretty uncomfortable I always thought," said Margaret. James hummed in agreement, though his eyes roamed the table rather than meeting her eyes.

He grabbed the textbook nearest him to inspect it closer. "Don't tell me you're studying already. Merlin, Evans! It's not even the first day back!"

"Maybe if you did you wouldn't be failing two classes." Lily yanked it back forcefully. Hopefully before he read it and realized she did not take Care of Magical Creatures.

"I'm failing _one_ class, and it's History of Magic, so I think I'll live." He leaned back, propping his feet up on the table—on her _parchment_ —and tilting the chair half in the air. Lily would've shaken her head at the ridiculous display of male dominance, but she was too busy hiding the textbook on the other side of the table.

"It was the Arithmancy that corrupted her," said Margaret. "She was such a sweet and innocent little firstie."

"Interesting theory, but Evans has been this swotty since day one. And no one who befriended _Snivellous_ could possibly be that innocent."

Lily narrowed her eyes. "You are—" But what exactly James was to her could not be said as Sirius made his timely entrance, poking out from behind the bookshelf.

"Prongs! There you are! You ready?"

"And that's my cue." James rose and, with a small nod in their direction, exited before Lily could say another word.

"Smart of him to get out while he could," Margaret commented lightly as Lily seethed. While Lily could not match name to face for most of the Hogwarts population, the deterioration of her closest friend remained quite public and memorable for everyone else.

"All I wanted was to get my work out of the way before classes start. That's all I ask."

"Well you came to the wrong place then. You should know better than to try to get work done in the library." She gestured at the closest seven tables stuffed with extra chairs and chatty students.

"But since you seem stressed, I did promise Jessie I'd meet her after her date. I'll leave you to it then, girly."

Lily could not accurately describe the strange emptiness that followed in the wake of peace and quiet.

* * *

If Lily had been asked as a first year if she'd like to throw away her one shot at never having to take a maths class again by taking the _single_ class offered at Hogwarts involving numbers, she would've rolled on the floor laughing. However, at the beginning of third year Lily had been going through a nostalgic phase and found herself missing all things muggle. That was the only way to explain her temporary lapse in sanity.

Luckily, Arithmancy at Hogwarts didn't include anything above addition, maths skills-wise, so Lily found she didn't mind the numbers as much as she did in muggle schooling. And it was always entertaining to see everyone else struggle to learn simple addition for the first time.

Unfortunately, Lily did not have Arithmancy until Thursday that week. However, this did give her plenty of time to formulate a full interview of questions to interrogate Whitney with come that Thursday.

Whitney appeared to have not gotten the memo.

"Whitney!" Lily whispered. "Hey! Travers!" Even Whitney's look of confusion held an undertone of superiority to it.

"What do you want, Evans?" Lily had just opened her mouth to start on her first of many questions when Professor Vector interrupted her.

"Good morning, class. As I explained before break, this term we will begin exploring more in depth the connections between Character Numbers and Environmental Numbers."

She paused to take a breath, which Lily used to her advantage to badger Whitney once again.

"Whitney! I need to talk to you about Jeffrey!" Whitney's dark eyes looked up from her textbook to burn into Lily's with more hatred and emotion she thought the other girl capable of.

" _This means we finally get to Event Predictions, which I know many of you have been anticipating since last year,_ " Professor Vector continued, her voice fading into the background as Lily leaned over her desk and strained her neck closer to the seat diagonal to hers.

"Mind your own business," Whitney hissed back.

" _But in order to understand the fluidity of events, it's important to fully comprehend the interaction between Character, as we covered last year, and Environment, which we began this year._ "

"I just want to know—"

" _When I mention Event predictions, I mean, of course, probabilities of events occurring, as nothing can be divined with certainty, not at this stage._ "

"However much you want to believe this is about you and Snape, it's not," Whitney cut her off. Her voice raised and drew the attention of Reynolds and Varnell near them.

" _This is, however, the skill you will need if you are interested in Curse-Breaking, as I know many of you are._ "

"I never saidit was."

" _So I expect your full attention for the rest of the year._ "

"Why else would you be interested in who I talk to?"

" _This is a complicated subject and will require focus and concentration to succeed._ "

Lily raised her voice further. "Because I—"

"Miss Evans. Am I interrupting your conversation?" Her head jerked back to the front of the room to find the faces of two thirds of the class staring back at her. She felt the remaining third on her back.

"Sorry, Professor," Lily muttered and leaned back in her seat.

"So today we'll start as we always start. Instructions are on the board. Keep track of all correct and incorrect responses. I'll be walking around to answer questions. Begin."

Unfortunately, today was not a team or group exercise, and Lily could not immediately think of a plausible reason to get to Whitney. She resigned herself to the task at hand, a rather tedious one too.

Lily pulled out her number charts, feathered and worn at the edges from the past three years, and flipped to the table at the back of _Numerology and Grammatica._ As Professor Vector loved to remind them, Arithmancy was all about complex predictions building on the same basic principles.

The blackboard at the front of the room detailed thirty or so different situations involving a character and a situation. Typically it was either one or the other for them to divine meaning from. With a sigh, Lily began tapping the sequences out with her wand to be interpreted with the chart, quite skeptical of anyone's success with so little instruction.

"Let's examine the results," Professor Vector interrupted Lily's work from the front of the classroom. Lily glanced down. Barely halfway through. Interpreting patterns from a half-completed data set would not really help her.

Fortunately, she was not alone in this revelation. A few students spoke up their disagreement. No one liked being set up to fail.

"If you'd like a wide set of numbers to draw on you may look on with a partner," Professor Vector conceded, and Lily all but flew over to Whitney's desk, dragging her chair loudly behind her.

"Hello, partner," said Lily cheerfully. "Let's chat." Whitney groaned, which Lily took as a sign of acceptance.

"So," Lily began. "You're friends with Jeffery Rodgers."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she replied coldly, starting to count the number of answers they had with an even Character number.

Lily tallied the Event numbers divisible by five. "I saw you. With Jeffery by the Slytherin common room."

Whitney looked up and from work and raised her thin eyebrows. "And just what were you doing down there, Evans?"

"It's not important." Lily shook her head, not stopping as she continued to add numbers up.

"It's important to me. You want to know something about my life, and I want to know something about yours."

"Fine. I had detention, all right?" Whitney smirked. For such a quiet, nice girl she sure had an evil smile.

"Rodgers is an old family friend. We reconnected after Christmas this year." And Lily knew instantly that, just like her answer, it was a muddy mixture of both truth and lies.

It seemed the only way Lily would be getting any answers would be from Jeffrey and not Whitney.

* * *

Even after the weekend, Lily was still attempting to crack the code on the patterns in her Arithmancy problems. She nestled herself in a large squashy armchair in the corner waiting for patrols to start for the evening.

"Sorry, sorry! Got caught up in the library." Remus burst into the common room, drawing the attention of half a dozen Gryffindors. Thankfully, this group included the one he was trying to draw the attention of.

"It's alright. Breathe," Lily couldn't help giggling at his panicked face. "Happens to the best of us." She rose to join him at the door and held it open for him. "After you."

"Isn't that my line?" He did have a predictable habit of opening doors for her.

"Didn't you know it's polite to take turns?" she countered. She paused for a beat. Silence between them. "Are you feeling alright? You look a little…" she let her words trail off as she took in the dark smudges beneath drooping eyelids, the pale skin covered in a thin sheen of sweat. Sickly.

"You know, I don't comment on your disregard for hairbrushes." Though his eyes lit up friendly and teasing, the words came out wrong. Too harsh for the sentiment. He seemed to realize his mistake immediately.

"Lucky for you, the messy bedhead look attracts all sorts." He winked, not considering that maybe Lily didn't love to be reminded of her unfortunate connection to his best friend.

"Lucky me." While he caught the sarcasm, Remus missed the sharpness it cut into the air.

"So are you gonna explain why you were harassing Travers in class the other day?" he asked as they started off towards the Great Hall and front doors.

"No. Are you gonna explain why my roommate woke up screaming this morning." Remus, at least, at the decency to blush.

"You know Serena. She… _bothers_ James." Lily gave him a look.

"So because she's a flirt I'm not allowed to sleep in?"

"Well, we were working on Transfiguration in the common room—actually working, there's a paper due tomorrow—and she was just sitting on the arm of his chair and wouldn't stop twirling her hair. And, well, James is an impatient person."

"And that's a good reason to vanish someone's hair in the middle of the night," spoke Lily flatly. She was also a person with little patience. "She wasn't doing anything wrong."

"No. She wasn't," he agreed. "But what do you expect?"

"More than that."

He sighed. "I'll talk to him." They arrived to find the Great Hall doors closed tightly and securely. And unlocked.

"Lu said it's already happened twice this month at the last meeting."

"You'd think the Professors would be a little less careless considering the sort of news that makes the paper," Remus remarked.

"Oh, I hope it's Griffiths. Maybe Professor Dumbledore'll fire her for it," said Lily wistfully. Remus snickered.

"We'll have to track down Filch now, I suppose." As strong as magic could be, the physical keys gave her (and Professor Dumbledore) a bit more peace of mind. "Chances he's actually in his office this time?"

"Let's try the corridor by the library," he suggested. "It's on the way."

They kept walking.

"So about Rodgers—" Lily started.

"You are not nearly as subtle as you think you are, Lily Evans."

"Who said I was trying to be subtle? No one ever tells me anything around here."

"I have nothing to tell. He's never in the dormitory anyway. Spends all his time with Connor Greenwich in Ravenclaw." _Connor Greenwich_. Another name to badger. At this rate there would be no one left in her year who'd want to talk to her.

"Leave the poor guy alone," Remus added, seeing the gleam in her eye. Lily really needed to learn how not to write out all her thoughts on her face.

"It's not what you're thinking." He looked at her like he knew exactly what it was about.

"Just be careful, Lily. And practice some more subtle interrogation tactics."

* * *

The third snowy weekend in a row had convinced nearly every student to remain locked indoors with a large mug of hot chocolate. Except, of course, Lily.

Instead, she waded through a mountain of fluffy snow not nearly as soft as it looked to get to Hagrid's hut. The wind tugged at her plaited hair insistently, and though Lily had readjusted her hat three times already, a trickle of melted snow was already making its way down her neck.

If Lily were the type to talk to herself, she might've been grumbling about Hagrid's vague letter requesting her visit in the blizzard. As it was, she took out her frustration by pounding on his heavy wooden door.

"Lily! Come in! Blimey, it's rough out there, isn' it?" he boomed, bursting with excitement. With a nod, she quickly slipped into the warmth and shed the heavy cloak before she started sweating by his roaring fire.

"Knew yeh'd want ter meet 'im righ' away, even with the snow."

"Nico's here!" Lily asked excitedly. "Where?"

"Yeh'll want ter put that cloak o' yers back on." He tugged on his own hat—a loud patchwork red and orange thing—as he spoke.

"You mean he's outside? In this weather, Hagrid?"

"Griffin's are tougher than yeh give 'em credit for, Lily. He's righ' at home out there."

She peered out the window. He had doubled in size since the photograph, but he still cowered beneath his feathered wings to shield from the wind. Lily imagined that if she were beside him she'd see him shivering from the cold.

"Will he stay out there all year?" she asked as Hagrid began ushering her out to meet him.

He chuckled. "They're outdoor creatures. O' course he'll stay out there."

"I mean, out in your garden. Where's he going to stay?" she continued to prod.

"Well, I'll train 'im here 'til he's ready, an' then he'll be off to the forest, o' course. He's a wild animal, after all." The wind nearly stole his words away. Lily had to strain to hear even his booming voice.

"What'll he do out in the forest? What are you training him for?" she all but yelled into a void. Though she was sure that he had caught at least some of what she said, Hagrid pretended she had not spoken at all.

"Here yeh go: Nicomedia!" he announced. "Go on. He's still young, so he won' be threatened." Lily briefly wondered what would happen when he was no longer young, and when that age might be reached. Hagrid was not always the most reliable judge of such behavior in his animals.

Hesitantly, Lily reached a shaking hand towards him.

"Hold on—" Hagrid grabbed her wrist. "No gloves. Yeh have ter use your hand. They're mistrustful o' most materials." The cold bit her skin red and raw. But she was not willing to risk her life with this creature. She wished she had done more research on the animal itself rather than the man who had sent him.

She raised her arm again, even more slowly than last time. Inching closer and closer. Half a step forward, boots crunching in the snow. At the slightest touch, he bent his head down to meet her.

Impossibly soft feathers brushed against her hand, and Lily felt a flood of warmth turn away the biting cold. Nico's devilish eyes glinted up at her. In an instant, his wings stretched wide, sending a wave of calm, temperate air around her and Hagrid.

Lily spun around to look up at Hagrid in shock. He grinned widely back.

"Told yeh he'd love yeh!" though he no longer needed to shout. The wind made no sound in their oasis by the griffin.

"What does he do?" Even after all these years, Lily was never prepared for the wonder to strike her.

"He's a protector." She nodded. He could protect himself from the weather. He could protect them. And Professor Dumbledore must have _something that needed protecting_.

* * *

Lily was innocently doing her Potions reading in a large squashy armchair by the fire in the Gryffindor common room when a large bottle of firewhiskey scandalously fell into her lap.

"You are officially of age, girly," Margaret announced. "It's time to get sloshed. Legally, of course."

Lily grabbed the bottle and shoved it under the chair cushion.

"Are you _mad_? It's not even eight! There are twelve-year-old children here still."

"It's. Your. Birthday." She punctuated each word with a (sharp) poke in Lily's shoulder. "Let's celebrate!"

"It's Sunday. And I'm a Prefect."

"If you're not gonna drink it, then I will," she said, though it sounded as though she had already started.

And Lily had no energy left in her body to protest further. She also could not think of a good enough reason for her not to get drunk in this very moment.

"Just wait until curfew at least."

"That's _ages_ from now!"

"It's two hours," she said with a disapproving look, not that Margaret could ever be shamed.

"Hold on..." She grabbed the bottle and pointed her wand at it. " _Nota verto._ " Immediately, the inscription on the bottle began rewriting as the bottle itself shortened and changed shape. It no longer had the distinctive flashy warning label and short top that allowed the sparks to fizzle out.

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Handy. And likely illegal."

Margaret shrugged. "Can't win 'em all, girly."

Unable to argue with that logic, Lily grabbed the bottle to take one burning sip—that she nearly coughed back up—and Margaret cheered loudly, drawing the attention of many (young) students studying. She shoved the bottle back towards Margaret as if to negate any personal responsibility for the act.

"I won't even pretend to wonder where you got that from. Or ask you when _your_ birthday is, because I know I don't want to know the answer." Margaret grinned cheekily in response. Sometimes it wasn't so surprising that Margaret had so quickly forced her friendship on Lily after a week confined at Hogwarts over break. Only sometimes.

But Lily already knew too well the dangers she posed as a friend. It wasn't worth the risk, so it was better she kept her distance to make the decision easier on everyone else.

The common room cleared out further until it was just Lily, Margaret, and the dying embers of the fire. Only the students intent on pushing the limits of curfew wandered through every so often.

"You know, I think my magic is actually better when I'm drunk." Margaret seemed surprised by her own revelation.

"Let's not test that one out," Lily censored before Margaret could burn the whole tower down.

"Sean agreed with me." And Lily sighed, because one only needed to know Margaret for ten minutes before he came up. "We were just so similar. You know, I think he was staring at me the other day in Charms. I noticed because it was so odd. Charms is his favorite class. He wouldn't not pay attention for no reason."

She continued to analyze the situation, but Lily had stopped paying attention. There was no convincing her that Sean was not interested. Even though it had been nearly a year since their last interaction.

Lazily, Lily dragged her wand through the air, tossing around the last few embers of the fire. They made little sparks when they collided, scarlet flares that lived for just seconds before fading out again. She entertained herself like this until she noticed the tears threatening the corners of Margaret's eyes.

"And I don't know why I let his friends still treat me like this. I get that being a Hufflepuff means loyalty, but what about human decency?"

"I think it's time for bed." Margaret hiccupped but did not protest.

"He loves me, right?" No was the more likely answer. But then again Lily was a bit of a cynic these days.

"Of course he does. He loves you." Did anyone love anyone? Certainly not at their age.

Lily helped her up the stairs, shoved a toothbrush in her hands, and pointed out the correct bed. She was out before her head hit the pillow. Lily was desperate to join her. And she nearly did, eyes just barely shut before she remembered the nearly empty bottle still downstairs, right next to her incriminating book bag should anyone find the two together.

With a groan, she lifted her spinning head and felt her way down the dark stairs. Her _lumos_ took two tries to get the words out properly.

The common room felt different at this time of night. Empty of laughter and conversation and _life…_ It didn't seem right. It gave Lily a strange emptiness in her chest. She had just slung her bag over her should and wrapped her hands around the bottle (transfiguration long worn off now) when she heard the footsteps.

"First detention and now this… When did you become such a troublemaker?"

"I hide it well," Lily quipped. That strange emptiness was finally starting to go away. "I could report you for being out past curfew."

He raised his eyebrows. "I could report you for alcoholic beverages in a common student area."

Lily was definitely not drunk. But an entirely sober Lily would have likely stormed upstairs and hidden all evidence.

"Want some?" She shook the bottle. At least three sips left.

He shook his head. "Tempting, but no. Someone's gotta be responsible around here."

"And where were you just now?" Always skeptical, always mistrustful.

With a smile, James said, "Happy birthday, Lily." And left her there wondering how exactly he knew her birthday.

* * *

 **A/N:**

I've had this idea of writing a story that takes place in one year in my head for a while now. It's made some things trickier and some things more interesting, but so far I'm pretty excited with how it came out. Please let me know if you like the story and where it's going so I know to continue with it!

Thanks!


	2. February

**Disclaimer: I only own the idea, J.K. Rowling owns the rest**

* * *

February

There were those who claimed Jeffrey Rodgers got his scar from a secret pet dragon—a long swipe cutting deep into his chin. Others said they heard it was a dare: a werewolf attack in the Forbidden Forest one night. Most assumed it was simply collateral from living in the same dormitory as the Marauders for so many years.

The fact remained that one day back in his third year Jeffrey was unscarred, and the next it appeared as if it had always been there.

It made him look daring and dangerous, Lily had overheard Jessie telling Margaret once. Proof that he's a real Gryffindor. Not many could say they had scars that not even magic could undo.

Fortunately for Lily, it also made him easy to spot from a distance.

"Rodgers!" she called across the mad rush of students trying to find the fastest route to their first class. Bodies poured out from the Great Hall, attempting to all squeeze through one doorway, into one hallway.

Lily pushed past a young looking group of Slytherins and hopped over the missing stone in the floor. The staircase ahead of her started shuddering. She cursed. Jeffrey was already climbing halfway up.

"Lily? What on _earth_ are you doing?" She barely spared a glance back to catch Margaret's eye.

"Rodgers!" Lily called again, one final sprint to him. He turned his head and caught her eye, quite confused, but made no move to meet her halfway. He stood beside a Ravenclaw Lily took to be the mysterious Connor Greenwich.

"Evans?" But before she could catch up, the edge of the staircase pulled away from the hall and warded off to prevent students from leaping wildly across as Lily desperately wished she could.

"Bullocks." Now she had to find a new way to Charms as well.

"Lily, what's going on?" Margaret had caught up to her, Jessie and Serena by her side.

She shook her head. "Nothing. Just had a question for him, that's all."

"That required you to running screaming after him like a crazy person?" Jessie asked skeptically.

"Well it was on the Charms homework," said Lily. Margaret sighed, as though Lily were an exhausting presence just to be associated with. But neither protested when Lily joined the three on their walk to Flitwick's classroom.

"Listen, Lily," Margaret began as she took the seat beside her. But Lily was too busy rummaging through her bag to hear her. That or she just didn't bother. She had more important things on her mind after all.

She pushed through and continued. "I'm getting a little worried about you. Well, we all are, really. You're getting a little… obsessive about this whole drama thing. It doesn't matter all that much."

Inwardly, Lily rolled her eyes. The problem was that Margaret had only known her during holidays. Lily was an obsessive person. And Margaret had very little knowledge on what mattered to Lily and what didn't.

"You're right." She looked up from her papers. "I'll put it behind me." Her voice too sickly sweet for anyone to truly believe her. Not that this made much of an impression as their papers began to fly to the front of the classroom.

"Today we'll be building on your knowledge of fire and heating spells to learn a charm that more reliably warms the body. This spell should be used with caution, however," Professor Flitwick warned. "Too warm and you'll burn yourself. The incantation is _calidarius._ "

Lily was not alone in lifting her wand, but Professor Flitwick threw his hands in the air to stop them. His arms would not reach over the shortest student's head, but his intention was received.

"Practice this spell nonverbally! Your practical exams at the end of this year will be entirely nonverbal. You should be practicing from the start."

Groans filled their classroom all the way to the high ceiling. Nonverbal spells required an intense amount of focus. Lily's head was entirely too cluttered to handle that at the moment.

Professor Flitwick began handing out mugs of water for students to heat up. Within seconds, Lily saw Wiley O'Flynn's mug boil over. This was not as terrible as Mary's attempt which ended in a mug of solid ice. Both seemed to be muttering the words under their breath.

Mispronunciation in Charms nearly always ended disastrously, so Lily did not even both trying to cheat. She'd much rather fail at a spell then lose both her eyebrows.

She repeated the incantation over and over in her head before even lifting her hand. Next to her Margaret did the same. Only out loud.

Warmth. When was the last time she had felt true warmth? She supposed it had that night over winter break, reading a novel with a large mug of tea in her hand. But then the window had been left open. And the castle was always a bit drafty.

The problem was that Lily felt so cold all the time these days, like the strange emptiness that kept creeping in whenever she was left alone. So she started to think about the opposite feeling, the one that existed before she left the room. Or was left behind.

And instantly that memory of James in the common room popped into her head. The fire still cackling and the dark maroon hiding in the shadows. But it was the common room. Of course it felt like that. And this was pointless.

True warmth was Hagrid's cabin. The roaring fire and his wide smile. She nearly always started sweating the moment she stepped in.

 _Calidarius._ The word filled her mind so completely it blocked nearly everything else out. Except for the feeling of Hagrid's flicked and jabbed her wand. Lily did not often doubt her abilities, but casting the spell nonverbally on her first try did not appear very high on her list of expectations.

Steam rose languidly up from the mug. The wonder that still came from performing magic shot through her. It was like her skin was sparkling with pride and amazement.

"How did you do that?" Margaret asked as she jabbed her wand so sharply it nearly toppled the mug over.

Lily shrugged. "You just have to feel it."

* * *

Lily shivered. Even underneath her large winter cloak and knitted hat. Even with the heating charms cast sporadically across the field. Only that Ministry Official seemed at all comfortable in the squishy grassy where snow had been melted away.

"Let's discuss the three D's," he began. She rubbed her hands together furiously as he continued to explain. The warmth leaked out of her just as fast as she generated it. She did not dare cast the heating charm they'd learned in Charms last week in front of the Ministry. With her luck, she'd be accused to starting a duel just for pulling out her wand.

Her eyes scanned the crowd of sixth years. To her surprise, she noticed Everett Collins standing by the back with some Slytherins. His short dark hair towered over most other students and stuck out wherever he went. He was also a seventh year taking the course a year late.

Lily turned to mention it to Margaret and Jessie when another figure in their group caught her eye. One with dark skin and a long scar across his face.

"What is Jeffrey Rodgers doing over there with that group of Slytherins?" she asked them without looking away. She missed the look Margaret gave Jessie.

"It's none of your business, Lily. It doesn't matter."

"I was just curious." Whitney appeared and pulled Jeffrey to the edge of the group. They were too far away for Lily to make out any of their expressions. Or read their lips, if she had that ability.

"Well leave it alone." Margaret's voice was unexpectedly sharp.

"Why does it bother you so much?"

"It's all you talk about these days, that's all." If Lily were truly a cruel person, she would inform Margaret that she was no better by always talking about Sean. "We just thought you were over it by now."

"What are you whispering about so secretively over here?" James materialized by her shoulder so suddenly that for a moment Lily thought he must've mastered apparition in just five minutes.

"None of your business."

"Because it sounds like you're being nosy about Rodgers."

"What does that have to do with you?"

"Just looking out for my dorm mate, that's all."

"It's just gossip. I doubt you'd be interested," she brushed him off.

"Try me."

"Rodgers and Travers are having a clandestine relationship. But she says they're just old family friends."

"Bullshit."

"What?"

"They are not old family friends. They're not old anything. They haven't spoken before this year." Another lie, Lily thought. And so the plot thickens.

"And how would you know that, exactly?" If Whitney was lying, which frankly didn't surprise Lily, then they must have some other connection. One more sinister by the looks of this cover up. Or Lily was just being dramatic as usual.

"None of your business," he retorted. It occurred to her that James would have a lot more information on the situation than she did. He lived with Jeffrey, and his family knew Whitney's.

Lily sighed. "Just stay out of this, Potter. And leave me alone."

He was silent for a moment, and Lily, a little naively, thought she might finally be done with him.

"All right. I'll do it."

"You'll leave then?"

"No. I'll help you. You obviously need it."

"Go away, Potter." And Lily moved herself, trying to find where Margaret had disappeared to as she had been talking to James.

"I've got something that you want," he tried again.

"I can find out what you know from other people."

"From what I've heard from Remus, you're not very good at that. But anyway, I've got something better. You won't be able to find your answers without it."

She narrowed her eyes. "What is it?"

"Can't tell you that. You'll just have to trust me. You need my help."

She weighed the pros and cons. More time in the presence of James Potter might very well exhaust all her energy to accomplish anything. But at the same time what was once a simply question had somehow unraveled into a very complicated mystery that she could not untangle on her own.

"Fine. You can help. Now what is it?"

"Hold on. You need my help, but how do I know if I need your help? I think I'll just take over from here."

Her eyes burned and she clenched her fists. If she had the guts she might just punch him. She was pretty sure she did.

"Are you—"

"Unless, of course," he interrupted her quickly, eyeing the fist that could so easily smash into his face. "Unless you show me you're worth my time."

"Forget it. _You're_ not worth _my_ time."

"Find out how Jeffrey got his scar," he blurted out before she could walk away. "Figure that out and we can help each other."

"What does that have to do with anything?" The anger boiling up washed away with bewilderedness.

"It doesn't. But if you're as good as you claim to be, and as serious as you say, then it shouldn't be too hard. And if you can be trusted with that information then I know I can trust you."

She searched his eyes, but something told her he wasn't joking anymore. And something about the idea of being on equal terms appealed to her. Enough, at least, for her to stick out her hand awkwardly.

"Deal." He laughed, both at her hand and her seriousness. But he grasped her hand and shook it once.

"Deal."

* * *

The letter came first thing Tuesday morning. The school owl did not even rest to drop it off, merely letting it float down into Lily's lap. She recognized the distinctive tight scrawl and the more symbolic than necessary stamp in the upper right corner. Her mother.

She opened the sticky seal and read it over in one hand as she ate her oatmeal.

 _Dear Lily,_

 _It's good to hear from you again. I was surprised to find your letter waiting for us at the new house, but I suppose that's one of the many wonderful benefits of magic. I'll never get used to it._

 _We've been absolutely drowning in boxes for the past few days. Petunia stayed over last weekend to help us sort everything out, which was very kind of her. She's been so busy lately at the office I hear from her about as often as I hear from you. It was nice to pretend not to be an empty nester for the weekend._

 _I hope your studies are going well. Will you explain that Transfiguring concept to me again? I was telling Petunia about it last night but I couldn't quite remember exactly. Your dad was no help of course. He's still too fascinated by those Charms. Ones that can fix and clean and do just about anything. Nearly bored poor Tuney to tears with his rambling. You know how he goes on and on when he's excited about something._

 _It was so nice to have the house full again. If you can sneak away from homework long enough over Easter break we'd love to have you over. I know you usually don't have the time in this part of the year, but it's been so long now and we really miss you, love._

 _On a slightly more serious note, I do have some bad news today. I know you've said that you don't see much of Severus these days, so I assume that you haven't heard, but his mother was admitted to the hospital last week._

 _You know we don't talk with their family much, but Betty has taken to checking in on Eileen every now and then and found out where she was. Tobias must have taken her in, but we really don't know what happened._

 _I'm not even sure if Severus knows. He doesn't get nearly as many letters as you do. Even if you two aren't on great terms, I'm sure he could use a friend right now._

 _That's all. Not trying to pry into your personal life. I know we made that deal: good grades and clean record in school equals a degree of privacy. We trust you._

 _Miss you loads. Can't wait to hear back from you!_

 _Love,_

 _Mum_

Pushing down the guilt as her supposedly "clean record"—all hopes of which had vanished the day Professor Griffiths arrived at Hogwarts—Lily carefully refolded the letter and placed it back in the envelope. As if she had never opened it.

Now was not the time unpack everything in that letter. Now was not the time to give in to her pity and reexamine her friendship with Snape. Lily knew she owed it to Severus to at least let him know if he didn't already. But even that conversation required extreme preparation.

The chatter of the Great Hall had steadily increased to a bleary, early morning roar as students filtered in in the half hour before morning classes. Lily took this as her cue to exit.

Having no desire to sit alone in Potions until class, Lily stopped by the library as she had every morning that week. Extra time to research griffins.

She unrolled her parchment of notes: _"Like sphinxes (see page 39), griffins are often employed by wizards to guard treasure."_ But what kind of treasure?

Well, Lily reasoned, as Hagrid trained him, he was being kept in the Forbidden Forest. Logically, he would only be trained in the environment he would be expected to work in. She couldn't see much point in training him outdoors only to throw him in the dungeons at the last moment.

It stood to reason, then, this treasure must be in the Forbidden Forest. Unfortunately, Lily did not have much experience with the forest, given its designation.

Even more unfortunately, the first person who came to mind that knew the forest quite extensively was not someone she was currently on speaking terms with. At least until she completed his stupid task of merit.

She let out a huff of frustration, slamming the quill on the table.

"Careful there." Red hair fanned out with her spinning head.

"Don't you have Potions right now?" Lily had not spoken to Margaret in what seemed like weeks but in reality, was only since apparition lessons last weekend, aside from an occasional "hello" in the bathroom.

"Don't _you_ have Potions right now?" She smirked and leaned against the edge of the table. "Just came by to collect you, girly."

Lily obediently rerolled her parchment, mostly so that Margaret wouldn't ask questions. Something about the extracurricular projects Lily liked to involve herself in did not really translate into a normal life it seemed.

She shoved a few stray papers and quills back in her bag as Margaret steered her towards the door, power walking to get them to the nearest staircase before it moved. As her head bent down closer to her bag, searching for her wand amid the tangled mess of textbooks and parchment, a large body collided directly into hers.

Lily glanced up, startled. "Oh! Sorry, Potter. Didn't see you there."

"Now that's no way to cheat hints out of me, Evans." He winked, and Lily frowned, not sure why everything about him managed to irritate her so easily. As if she were actually trying to get hints out of him. As if she needed to!

"What in Merlin's name was that about?" asked Margaret, bewildered.

"You ask as if I understand what happens in my life any more than you do."

Margaret laughed. "You sure are a mystery, girly. You ready to sprint to the stairwell?"

"Race you!" she answered with a grin, and took off.

* * *

With James' challenge in mind, Lily stalked Jeffrey with a new vengeance. The Great Hall, the Gryffindor common room, that one staircase from Charms to Transfiguration. He had gotten incredibly good at avoiding her.

Even worse, she never seemed to spot his friend Connor until they were by each other's sides. Something about that boy was so utterly forgettable that he never seemed to exist until the very moment she couldn't talk to him.

Rather than seem impossible, this task was starting to feel unimportant. Lily had more interesting things to think about and more urgent work to do. And she was starting to doubt the necessity of James in this particular mystery.

It wasn't until she was deep in a forgotten corner of the library buried in Transfiguration notes that she heard his voice through the bookcases. Evidently, he also knew the best places in the castle to hide.

"Have you heard anything new?" His voice was muffled through the thick stacks of books, and Lily couldn't make out his companion's voice at all.

"That's it?" he growled. Lily gathered that whatever the quiet response had been it had not been good. Slowly, she slid a book from the shelf in hopes of finding a gap between books on both sides.

"She won't leave me alone." Lily wondered if he meant her or Whitney or if a third girl was causing trouble for Jeffrey these days. She eased another book off the shelf only to be meet with the continuous solid wall of pages.

He said something else, but lower and beyond her hearing. She tried a different shelf and another two books.

A sliver of light poked through. _Finally._

Lily caught sight of the edge of a dark cloak. The bottom of a Gryffindor tie. A dark hand lazily tucked into a pocket. Without a doubt, Jeffrey Rodgers.

As for his friend, she could only make out a mass of black robes. They swayed as whoever it was began pacing, managing to remain out of view. The gap in the shelf did improve the sound quality, at least. Lily leaned in and tilted her ear towards them.

"Fine. We'll both 'do better' then." Jeffrey paused, then sighed. "I'm sorry. Really, I am. I know what this means for you." More light murmuring from Mystery Person. Nothing distinct.

Lily pulled back from the shelf to look around again. Mystery Person stopped the pacing and plopped down in the chair beside Jeffrey. And that's when Lily caught a glance of the silvery blonde hair that could only belong to Whitney Travers.

Lily had half convinced herself that Jeffrey must be talking to some shadowy villain character, which didn't not fit Whitney but was definitely not the cruel evil mastermind she had pictured. At the very least she imagined it might be soft-spoken Connor.

But instead Jeffrey was having more clandestine meetings with Whitney in the back of the library. Arguing about something. None of the partial half conversation she had overheard made any sense even with this context.

And with that came the sickening realization that she did need Potter for this, if only to have someone to bounce ideas off of. She was entering a very tangled mess, fraught with history she was oblivious to, and had no hope of satisfying her curiosity on her own.

Whitney was talking again; her voice still so quiet Lily couldn't even catch the tone much less a word or two. She risked wiggling out another book and thinning the distance between them.

But Lily could already tell it wouldn't be enough. She reached for another from the other side of the whole with her left hand. Of course, Lily, for all her love of library books, did not exercise her arms very much or attempt to carry very many at a time, knowing her limits. Thus, her fairly week arms were not very equipped to handle the weight of two quite large textbooks on the advanced theory of Transfiguration.

They slid right out of her hands and onto the floor in two distinct thumps. Lily dropped down with such speed they may as well have dragged her down with them. She didn't dare raise her head and let them see her distinctive hair.

"This is not the place to have this conversation." On the upside, Lily could hear Whitney's voice now. Not that she was about to talk much more.

Lily waited a full five minutes after their footsteps dissipated to replace the books and return to the desk. Transfiguration homework seemed even less appealing than before, if that was possible.

She dug through her bag for her paper on Jeffrey. Mostly scribbled with half streams of consciousness and no real facts so far. But good enough to jot down notes on what she had just heard. Just because it meant nothing to her now didn't mean it couldn't be vital to her soon.

And now Lily had to go track down Connor's schedule and find a way to interrogate him about Jeffrey's unrelated scar just to satisfy James. The bastard.

One thing could be learned from this encounter though. Lily would never be having another important conversation in the library again. Not when the book stacks were that easy to listen through.

* * *

Their next apparition lesson fell on an unusually balmy day for February, and Lily found that her usual attire of five layers and a hat was enough to keep away the chill.

The good weather seemed to put everyone into good spirits, and there were much more successes that day. Not for Lily. The shock of losing a limb didn't mean much to her when it was the fourth time it had happened in the last hour.

 _Destination, Determination, and Deliberation._ What was wrong with her today?

Margaret voiced just that a moment later. "You've been off all week. What's going on with you, girly?"

Lily grimaced and raised her hand for the splinching potion. Trapped by her missing foot, she could not escape Margaret's further questions.

"Nothing just stressed." She stretched her arm a little higher, but the Ministry Official this week seemed entirely preoccupied with Rachel's missing eyes. Ridiculous.

"Well I know it's not about schoolwork because we've practically had the week off. And you're at least a month ahead on studying regardless. So, what's up?"

Lily sighed. Her reputation really put a damper on work related stressors. "Just family stuff. Doesn't matter."

Margaret gave her a look that was borderline patronizing. "And friends are supposed to be here for that kind of stuff. Even if it doesn't matter." Lily gritted her teeth. Margaret was absolutely right, and she kind of hated her for it.

"Well, do you remember—" she began just as the still nameless Ministry Official came by.

"Where do you need it, dear?" she interrupted brusquely, clearly in a hurry to get around to the many other students in various states of disembodiment. Lily pointed at her left foot sitting six feet from the golden ring she stood in. The woman nodded and retrieved it, showing off her own impeccable apparition skills. Moments later, Lily's limb was reattached and fully functional.

She gave it a few sample rolls while Margaret waited expectantly for the rest of her response. Instead, Lily caught the sight of a boy with coarse blonde hair and terrible posture.

"Is that Connor Greenwich over there?"

Margaret blinked twice, entirely thrown off. "Maybe? What do you want with Greenwich though?"

"Just need to bother him with a quick question."

"But—is he even in our year? Isn't he a Hufflepuff?" But Lily was already moving towards him.

"Connor?" She hadn't quite reached him yet, but he was eyeing her with a look of fear that made her worry he was ready to bolt before she had the chance to question him. "Connor Greenwich?"

He nodded hesitantly, looking around for some sort of backup. But he stood alone, everyone else thoroughly engrossed in their practice. Something made much easier by the good weather and high success rate of the morning.

"Lily Evans," she thrust out her hand. His handshake was not firm and not confident, but it was more than she expected from him. "I figured we've been in classes long enough to warrant a proper introduction." She grinned. _Subtle, Lily._ Think _subtle_. _That's how you get answers._

"Listen, Evans. I know what you're trying to do. Jeff told me everything. You've really gotta leave him alone."

Her eyes widened almost comically. She made a note to herself to take some acting classes over the summer. "No, no, no! Not at all what I was coming over here about, I swear!

"Then what is it?" he asked flatly.

"You take Arithmancy, right?"

"I mean, I started a year behind you, but yeah."

"Great. I need a tutor and—"

He sighed. "Lily, we both know you don't need a tutor, and if you did I wouldn't be much help anyway. What do you want?" Lily took a brief moment to curse Ravenclaws for being blessed with cleverness, something she clearly lacked.

That Ministry oOfficial was going around breaking up chatty groups to get more practice going. Lily could easily use that as her out and come up with a new plan of attack. But she was tired of giving up and she wanted answers. Maybe she lacked cleverness, but at least she'd always be absolutely shameless.

"Here's the thing. Your friend, Jeff, has this pretty iconic scar and I would really appreciate it if you could just tell me how he got it. I get that he wants to remain all mysterious and what not, but I won't spread it around or anything. I just need to know."

This was clearly not what Connor expected her to say. His brow furrowed and Lily could swear he was considering honoring her request. Or maybe that was preemptively optimistic of her to assume.

"Popularity is not the reason he keeps that a secret," Connor said. Though she didn't know him well, Lily had never seen the boy this passionate about anything before. She seemed to have struck a nerve she didn't even know was there.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. But is there any way you could tell me?" She would've gotten on her knees to beg if she wasn't positive that Potter was watching her from a distance. And laughing at her weak attempts.

"I don't know. He never told me." Lily doubted that. If James Potter of all people had been granted the honor, she knew Jeffrey's best friend had. But he was apparently loyal to a fault and wouldn't give the secret up. She should've known it would not be that easy.

"But do you know when he got it at least?" She might as well get whatever she could out of this conversation.

He didn't answer for a long time. Lily was almost ready to give up and walk away, not about to withstand the silent treatment for the rest of the hour, when he finally looked back up at her.

"It was our third year. In the spring. We had just learned glamours in Charms, and I was better at them than he was so he had me glamour it until it was completely healed. No injury. Just a scar that appeared one day at the end of the year."

With a thin smile and a look of guilt, Connor walked six feet away from her and raised his wand, eyes closed in concentration, to signal the end of their conversation. He waited to apparate again until she had returned across the field to rejoin Margaret.

"Are you gonna explain what that was all about?" Lily shook her head and raised her own wand— _Destination, Determination, and Deliberation—_ and reappeared, a whole person, in the center of the gold hoop.

"He just told you the secret to apparition, didn't he?"

Lily grinned, despite herself. She was making progress. "A magician never reveals her secrets."

* * *

"Did you really bring homework to a Quidditch game?"

"Do you not remember that game back in second year that lasted eight hours? I know you're not about to let me leave after the first hour, so I brought something to work on."

Margaret scoffed. "Well of course you can't just leave. The game could end at any moment and you'd miss it! That's what makes the game so exciting!" Lily would've rolled her eyes if only Margaret's enthusiasm wasn't so catching. And she had to admit that there was so much to watch in a Quidditch game.

"Fine. I'll wait until at _least_ the two-hour mark to pull out a book."

She shook her head at Lily. "You sure are an odd one."

"Place any bets, Royer?" Sirius Black invited himself to the seat next to Lily and leaned over her to talk to Margaret.

"Oh, I don't waste my time on the other teams. I save my gold for Gryffindor." Sirius Black had a very loud laugh. It boomed in Lily's ear.

"She's a keeper, Evans." She swatted him away.

"Go find your own friends, Black."

"They're just putting money down on our bets while I save us the best seats. Don't worry, they'll join us soon." Sometimes, Lily hated that Gryffindors tended to flock together for Quidditch games. And that these idiots were in Gryffindor with her.

She let Black busy himself with badgering Anthony for some sweets and turned back to Margaret.

"Looks like we're finally ready to get this match started!" Des Farley's magically amplified voice echoed through the stadium, a sixth year Gryffindor announcing this weekend's game. She usually had to fight Sebastian Clark for the honor, and she usually won.

"So, what were you about to say this morning? At the apparition lesson?" Lily wished there was a polite way of ignoring someone sitting only six inches from you.

" _And Ravenclaw takes possession to start—Sarah Yep speeding towards the goal posts"_

"Oh, it wasn't important."

"Yeah. It was. I asked you about your family. You should tell me these things, Lily." She really shouldn't. It's not like she knew Margaret that well. She just happened to talk about her personal life quite freely compared to most people. She also happened to like most people.

But this did not seem like something she could get out of that easily. And contrary to her own life experience, Lily did not go out of her way to burn bridges.

" _Ouch! A well placed bludger by Slytherin's Kenzie Burke gives Slytherin back possession."_

"This isn't really the place, Margaret."

"Sure it is. Jessie won't get here for at least another hour cause she has to finish that Potions essay that was due yesterday. And it's not like Black over there is listening to anything we have to say. He's about to leave soon anyway. It's loud here. Everyone's watching the game."

" _Parkinson racing towards the goal posts—"_

Lily must have made some sort of negative face because Margaret sighed dramatically. "Merlin, it's like pulling teeth with you."

" _A quick pass back to Slytherin chaser Jenna Fawley—"_

Lily's eyes flashed. "Fine. You want to know what's wrong? Snape's mother is in the hospital and he doesn't know yet and I have to find some way to tell him when we haven't spoken in almost two years."

Margaret fell silent. The rest of the stadium, however, roared, standing up arms raised as Slytherin nearly scored on the left goal post.

"That creepy Slytherin you used to be friends with?" Lily nodded, her anger fading as quickly as it had bloomed in her.

" _Ravenclaw has called a time out! Looks like Seeker Jason Matte was injured in that last foul."_

"Please don't tell me you two are supporting Slytherin today." James Potter and co. had arrived, arms piled high with snacks. They settled easily into the seats right in front of Lily and Margaret, and Sirius hopped over the row to join them.

"That's not what we were talking about," said Lily coldly, both because this topic always put her in a bad mood and because she and Potter were still ignoring her. Or at least she had assumed so.

"We're not talking about the Slytherin team. Just one in particular." Lily cut her off with a sharp look. This really was not the time. Or the company.

"And what Slytherins do you two know in particular?" James narrowed his eyes, and Lily could guess exactly what was going through his mind.

"Collins' complete inability to apparate this morning." Her tone was light, but she eyed him carefully, daring him to challenge her.

"It was kind of embarrassing, wasn't it?"

"You'd think he'd have more practice, being of age for months now and all."

This was usually when either Margaret or Sirius stepped in to redirect them, but neither were quite sure of what to do when they were entirely in agreement rather than arguing. While still fighting each other from entirely opposite sides. All cold stares and tight voices.

" _And the game's back on!"_ Des's booming voice interrupted.

And just like that it ended. James sat down between Peter and Sirius and Lily turned back to Margaret as though nothing had happened.

"I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that's something you don't wanna talk about either."

Lily just shook her head. She didn't even know how to explain how she had gotten to where she was now.

* * *

Glamour charms. Being the Charms nerd that she was, Lily remembered learning them rather distinctly. Everyone had gotten really excited at the beginning because they assumed they could just magic away anything they didn't like about their appearance. Acne, eye color, a bad haircut.

But magic doesn't work like that. Glamour charms only work on inanimate objects, and only for a little while. Human faces change too much throughout the day.

So either Connor Greenwich had been lying about glamouring Jeffrey's face, or he had found a way to alter magical theory. Knowing the students of Hogwarts like she did, Lily was leaning towards the lying theory.

Ideally Lily would spend a bit more time researching glamour charms before solidifying this theory, but currently she was speed walking to the prefect meeting she was already six minutes late for.

She arrived in the teacher's lounge another minute and thirty seconds later, breathless and just a little damp with sweat. Of course, every other prefect had probably arrived at least ten minutes early, and every head turned to watch her enter.

But she quickly scanned the room and found Remus near the back with her seat saved as always. Everyone must have been watching her still as the meeting began the moment she sat down.

"Good evening prefects, professors," Head Girl Nadia began nodding at each respective group. "We've got a few things to talk about tonight so let's start quickly, shall we?"

Lily hoped desperately for a quick meeting that gave her enough time to read the next chapter in D.A.D.A. and mentally prepare for Griffith's class tomorrow afternoon. Lily did not exactly get her wish.

"So, Thomas and I have gone through point values and all that fun stuff. Good work this week, everything's been approved. I'll hand out schedules for March at the end of the meeting, just find me on your way out." She turned to face the Head Boy standing beside her.

Thomas cleared his throat. "So we've got Hogsmede coming up next weekend. We'd really like as many of you to be there as possible so come talk to me after if I don't already have your name down. That said, if you do plan on hanging out in the castle watch out for older students causing trouble while attention is elsewhere.

"And we'll talk more about this next month but keep in mind the leadership retreat we have in April. It is mandatory for all prefects so I don't wanna hear any last minute excuses, got it?" Lily nodded enthusiastically, hoping this would be the end of it and they would turn them free now.

"Okay, we turn it over to you, Professor Dumbledore," said Nadia, and she and Thomas took their seats in the front row.

Lily had not even seen him in the very back corner, but he stood now and gracefully made his way to the front of the teacher's lounge.

"Thank you Miss Kassin, Mister Haverhill. I'd now like to give a few reminders to you all in hopes that this information will spread to the rest of the students. Firstly, that the Forbidden Forest remain forbidden. In particular, the edges of the forest. Even if you can still see the castle from where you stand, our gameskeeper, Hagrid, is at work training some dangerous creatures near the edge and students should keep far away."

 _The griffin,_ thought Lily. _Nicomedia._

"Secondly, several of you have brought it to my attention that the Great Hall doors have been left unlocked. Please continue to check this on your rounds, but more importantly remind your fellow students to remain in the castle after curfew. Often this happens when a someone is locked outside the castle and must find a way in, usually through another student on the inside."

"Now, if you have no other prior commitments you are all more than welcome to remain here for the Staff Meeting. As always, we welcome your presence and contributions. Otherwise, I wish you all a good night." And with a small bow, Lily was officially free for the night. Well, free to enjoy her mountain of homework.

Nearly all the prefects rose with her, very few ever chose to stay late on a Sunday night. Remus, predictably, held the door open for her.

"After you." She smiled, shaking her head.

"Moony! There you are!" And her smile fell as she heard his voice. "Need your help with something."

Remus sighed. "Of course you do. It's always the night with five essays to write, isn't it?"

Lily giggled and wished him luck.

"Oh, hey Evans," James turned to her. "Got anything to tell me yet? It's been what… three weeks now? Think you can still handle it?"

She frowned. "Stay away from me, Potter." And she stalked off down the hallway, nearly shaking with fury at his nerve. At his confidence. At him. What was she thinking? She could never work with him on anything. She hated him.

This was how she entered the girls' dormitory, to Margaret painting her nails on the floor.

"What's up, girly?" And Lily was suddenly exhausted. The thought of doing defense homework made her want to collapse into a ball and never speak to anyone ever again.

Margaret, focused on her pink toes, did not seem to pick up on this.

"So, listen. I was thinking about what you told me, and I don't really know the whole story with you and this Snape kid, but I do remember when—" But whatever she remembered, Lily did not hear as she shut the curtains around her bed tightly in Margaret's face. And promptly laid down, fully clothed on top of her bed to go to sleep.

* * *

It was moronic.

"He's just being such an annoying twat, Hagrid. He's set up this stupid and arbitrary challenge that has absolutely nothing to do with what I want to know."

She was playing right into his hand.

"And it's some ridiculous way of testing me because apparently I'm not good enough for his company."

She was so stupid.

"It's like he's got no respect for me at all as a witch. I didn't even ask him for help! He offered it himself, and now he's gone and declared some sort of mystery hunt for his own amusement. That arrogant toerag. I hate him!"

Hagrid, quite wisely waited for Lily to finish. He took a long sip of tea.

"And Margaret thinks the only reason I'm so bothered by it all is because Mum wrote me the other day. And she keeps asking and asking about my personal life and Sev and I know it's been two years but I'm just not ready to talk about it like that because I know what everyone will say and think and I just don't want to hear it. I hate him too but I know it's not all his fault, not when things are like they are at home and I have to be the one to tell him his mother is injured and in the hospital and I can't talk to him because I miss him—" her voice broke off.

"Oh, Lily." Hagrid's arms were suddenly around her before she could see him get up from his chair. Despite his size, he moved surprisingly fast.

To her embarrassment, Lily felt tears start to track down her face. She really spent too much of her life crying. "How could I possibly be thinking about that at a time like this?"

"Yeh can' help how yeh feel," said Hagrid, her rant about James entirely forgotten before he could defend the boy.

"I know, and it would be fine if I could just never see him again, but it feels like he's everywhere. It's suffocating me."

"I'm sorry, Lily. Yeh deserve better."

"That's not the real problem here, though. I really don't think anyone's told him about his Mum, and I've waited so long now to do it but he deserves to know, right?"

Hagrid simply nodded. Lily knew he wasn't the biggest fan of Snape, but he had a good heart and a very strong moral compass that she trusted implicitly.

"How do I do it then?"

"There's no easy way ter do it. Yeh just go up ter him when he's alone and say yer piece. Be as honest as yeh can. And then forget the boy. Fer good."

Lily nodded, drying the last of the tears from her eyes.

"I always seem to have my breakdowns in here, don't I?" She smiled thinly.

"Better than fallin' apart in the middle o' dinner, though."

Lily laughed. "Well, there's a first for everything. We'll see how the rest of this year goes."

* * *

Lily took a deep breath. She had practiced what she was going to say to him. She had gone over his possible responses in her head again and again. She was as ready as she could be to talk to Severus again.

The hard part, it turned out, was tracking him down.

There must have been a reason she hadn't had a reason to say more than five words to him in the last year and a half. Those awkward moments when she did catch his eye he was always surrounded by that group of his. The ones that sent shivers down Lily's spine. Not good people.

So when would he be alone? To be fair, he tended to be cornered when he was alone, so Lily didn't necessarily blame him for surrounding himself with something akin to bodyguards wherever he went, but it definitely made it much harder to achieve her goal here.

Lunch had just ended, and Professor Vector cancelled their Arithmancy lesson due to a bad cold. Lily knew the Slytherins had Tuesday afternoons off as well. So far she'd had no luck with the Great Hall, the Library, the Hospital Wing, or any of the main hallways connecting the three. She could only hope he wasn't in his dormitory where she'd never reach him.

But she still had one more place to check.

The dungeons were even cooler than she remembered them to be. Yet somehow the slimy walls continued to drip irregularly without icing over.

A few doors ahead Lily could see the tell-tale flickering of a fire. The spare potions room Snape had shown her back in second year was definitely in use. She just needed to make sure it was the right person.

He was so hunched over the cauldron he didn't even noticed anyone had entered. His hair was longer, pulled back except for a few strands that hung precariously over the open flame.

"Severus." She'd meant to speak quietly and not startle him too much, but the words echoed over the empty room. He jumped up.

"Lily." She couldn't tell if he was happy to see her or angry. She couldn't read him like she used to. He was an entirely different person now. And she was sure it wasn't a good change.

"I don't mean to interrupt."

"It's simmering for the next twenty minutes. You can sit." She didn't, but she appreciated the offer.

"I don't really know how to say this, seeing how things are between us. But I got a letter from Mum and I thought you should read it." She handed over the letter from two weeks ago.

As he read she scanned his face for any chances of emotion, but he was as walled off before the letter as he was after. She didn't know whether to be relieved or terrified.

He extended his arm to return the letter. "Thank you, Lily." It wasn't exactly the reaction she'd been expecting, but it also didn't surprise her.

"Keep it. I'll let you know if she sends anything else."

He nodded. "Thank you." And she left without another word.

But the weight that lifted off her chest was much greater than the single letter that had been clutched to it entering the room. She wasn't really in a smiling mood, but that was just how free she felt. Free.

And in that moment she knew that she did not want to be tied to any more obligations than she already had to be. She intended to let herself be free.

* * *

Feeling somewhat accomplished by the end of her week, that Friday afternoon Lily set out for Hagrid's to update him on how her conversation with Snape had gone. The sun was already setting though it wasn't even five yet, and it threw dramatically long shadows from the trees in the Forbidden Forest.

Except, when Lily glanced at the window before stepping up to the door, she found another figure already sitting inside. She deflated slightly. She had never found Hagrid too preoccupied to talk to her, and yet she was not eager to sit and make small talk with another student.

Who else was close friends with Hagrid aside from her?

She hesitated to knock at the door, and kept watching through the window for another moment. Hagrid threw his head back, laughing uproariously. Lily took a step back. He was clearly enjoying himself, and more than he usually did with her by the looks of it.

But then the student stood to leave, and he turned to don a thick winter cloak hanging off the back of his chair. And Lily caught a glimpse of his face. And the long scar that cut across it. _Jeffrey Rodgers._

She always seemed to find him where she least expected it.

A moment later he stepped out of the cabin. As soon as Hagrid shut the door behind him, Lily spoke.

"I didn't know you were friends with Hagrid." Jeffrey only flinched a little as Lily stepped out of the shadows.

"I don't know if anyone's ever told you this, but you can be very creepy sometimes, Lily."

"What are you doing here?" Jeffrey looked confused. He was probably expecting another interrogation, along the lines of her usual methods.

"What do you mean? I stop by all the time. Have been since first year when Hagrid nearly saved me from drowning in the lake."

"When you fell in on the boat rides to the sorting ceremony," Lily recalled fondly. She had forgotten that had been Jeffrey, a much smaller and scrawnier Jeffrey that lacked his scar. Sometimes it was like he hadn't existed before it did. She figured it must not feel great to be best known for some arbitrary feature.

"He invited me to tea after that and showed me some of his magical creatures. I love animals, and I guess he could tell cause he kept showing me more." His face lit up while recalling what Lily guessed to be many years of good memories. But he caught her eyes again and his eyes dimmed somewhat.

"How did you find me here then?"

Lily shrugged. "I wasn't looking for you. I've been coming to Hagrid's for years now too."

"Has he shown you the griffin?"

"You mean little Nico? He's grown so much I can't believe it!"

Jeffrey seemed to soften up a bit. "What about that bicorn he had last year? Bristol, I think he was called."

Lily wrinkled her nose. "He stunk so badly. I had to shower after every time I came over. One day Professor McGonagall actually stopped me in the hall and asked what was wrong with me. I had to spin some story about tripping in the greenhouses and getting covered in dragon dung. It was so embarrassing."

"You mean you didn't tell her about the bicorn?"

"Well, no. Of course not. He wasn't supposed to be hiding a bicorn in his cabin. And there's no way to explain why I'd ever be in the Forbidden Forest which is where they should be."

Jeffrey gave her a weird look, almost as though he were sizing her up or something.

"Connor said you were asking about my scar. Why? Why do you care now all of the sudden?"

Lily shook her head. "It doesn't matter anymore. It'll just sound stupid anyway."

Jeffrey cocked his head. "After all that you're giving up now?"

"Your dorm mate. James Potter. He thought it would be funny to test me by making me go on some wild detective hunt to figure it out. Clearly I did not prove myself well."

"James wouldn't have told you to find out if he didn't trust you with the information." Lily had not thought of it that way. That James would not only assume she was capable of finding out, but that she wouldn't spread it around either.

"I guess you're right."

"Potter is usually a pretty good judge of character." Somehow that seemed like a compliment to Lily.

"Look, I'll tell you. I think it goes without saying that you can't tell anyone else. But whatever you need to prove to Potter must be important for you to have hounded me for the last month, and I don't think James is wrong about you."

Lily waited with bated breath for him to continue. Could it really be that easy?

"I was kind of cocky when I was thirteen. I was stupid. Hagrid gave me a million warnings, but I thought I knew better. Nearly a whole year of Care of Magical Creatures and I thought I was a pro. So I got in the way of one of his pets and it tore up my face a bit.

"Magical injuries can't be healed by magic, so I got this big scar across my face. Connor tried to hide it for a while as it healed, but he couldn't do that for the next four years so I told him to stop.

"But it was my fault, you see?" Guilt racked his voice, desperate to have her understand. "Hagrid tried to warn me, and he probably saved my life by fighting it off. But if it ever gets out he'll be sacked."

"It wasn't your fault," said Lily quietly. "You were just a kid."

"Hagrid didn't do anything wrong."

She shook her head. "No he didn't. But neither did you. Sometimes accidents happen. We're kids with magic and not a whole lot of supervision. Something like this was bound to happen at some point."

They stood in near darkness now, curfew coming soon.

"We should probably get back to the castle soon," said Jeffrey. That scared kid had been replaced by his usual confident demeanor.

On their walk back up the castle, Lily thought about all the rumors that circulated around his scar. She had never heard one involving Hagrid or the Forbidden Forest, though now that she thought about it it did seem the most plausible. She realized it was likely Jeffrey himself that started the many rumors, drawing attention away from Hagrid himself.

And dangerously, Lily realized that she was starting to sympathize with him. Which wasn't a good sign when she was trying to out him for consorting with death eaters.

This plan was already becoming much more complicated than she had anticipated.

* * *

 **A/N:**

Happy New Year! Thanks so much for reading and please let me know what you like/don't like/wanna see more of


End file.
